It's because I'm wearing tennis shoes

I'm having a great day today. I've had productive meetings, I've gotten some big tasks out of the way, and I'm just in a good mood, and I've decided it's because I'm wearing tennis shoes. I've noticed that what I wear and how my hair is "styled" (I use that term loosely) greatly affect the kind of day I have. Any day I wear jeans is a good day, but I've noticed that if I wear a t-shirt with jeans it has a much different feel than if I wear a dressy shirt with jeans. In the t-shirt I feel more relaxed and easy going, but in the dressy shirt, I feel more take charge. If I'm uncomfortable in my outfit, I'm uncomfortable all day. It really comes across in my work and my demeanor, but if I'm comfortable, I feel like I can do anything and I tend to get less stressed out. Today I'm wearing a pair of casual pants, a casual shirt with a vest over it, zero accessories and my most comfortable pair of tennis shoes, and I feel awesome. I certainly do not feel fashionable, but I'm happy and it's because I'm wearing tennis shoes.

My Sci-Fi Confession

I have a confession to make: I love Sci-Fi. If that makes me a nerd, then so be it. I blame it all on my parents and the people I went to college with. I eased into it when Ian got me into Heroes when it premiered the beginning of my senior year. (The only reason I considered watching it because Milo Ventimiglia from Gilmore Girls was one of the main characters.) That was innocent enough. It was just a TV show once a week about people with supernatural abilities. No big deal.

At about the same time, Michal, my roomate, began prodding me to read the first Harry Potter book. "It's so good. You'll love it," she said. "I highly doubt it," I responded with an eye roll. This continued for months. Her then fiance (now husband) also joined in on the book's promotion. He was the one who got Michal into it. I ignored them until we had an ice storm in Bolivar that January. There was nothing to do. No electricity meant no TV, no computer, no lights. The only places open in town were Walmart and Dollar General. Kellee (who got me into Chronicles of Narnia) and I hacked through the ice on my car to make it to Walmart just to get out of the confines of our tiny three-bedroom apartment. There it was. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone was staring at me. It looked innocent enough to give me some entertainment through the bout of candlelight living. I bought it, and finished it that night. The next day, I ventured to Walmart again and bought the second book in the series. To make a short story of it, I read the first four Harry Potter books in five days. Books 5-6 took a few months between them, and then came the long wait for Book 7 to arrive. I devoured that in a matter of days. For those of you that disapprove of Harry Potter, it is possible to still love Jesus while enjoying Sci-Fi (ever heard of Lord of the Rings and Chronicles of Narnia?).

I haven't really thought much about enjoying Sci-Fi until last night when I finished the first book in the Twilight series. (I read it in five days, with the last 14 chapters being consumed yesterday.) I always thought the enjoyment was specific to the series or movie I was partaking in, but as I look back on things, I realize that I am an uber Sci-Fi-loving nerd. I grew up watching Star Trek: The Next Generation, Stargate, The X-Files, The Twilight Zone, Quantum Leap, and Mork and Mindy with my parents. All I really have to do is look back to some of the movies I've seen this summer - Wolverine, Star Trek, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince - and it's confirmed: I love Sci-Fi.

Now I must get ready to head to Walmart to pick up my copy of the next book in the Twilight series. Call me a nerd if you wish. I now accept it.

Ten Things Tuesday: 10 new church ministries

I was sifting through the church’s iStock photo library today looking for pictures that might represent different ministries in our church. With ministry photos in mind, I laughed when I saw a picture of a pineapple. I stated aloud, “I want to be involved in the pineapple ministry.” My co-worker’s daughter asked, “Is that where you just eat pineapple?” I gave her a long explanation of this imaginary ministry’s purpose. I then began to associate each picture with a new church ministry. I would have included the pictures, but I don’t think that would be ethical considering I didn’t purchase them. Here are ten of my favorites:

1. Hug your ethnically ambiguous friend ministry. We have an infinite number of pictures of groups of “friends” hugging and laughing. No two individuals are the same ethnicity, yet none of their features are strong enough to determine what their ethnicities actually are.

2. Run toward the camera ministry. I counted at least five pictures with children and adults running toward the camera with their arms stretched wide. Maybe it’s a photographer appreciation group. I don't know.

3. Pumpkin carving ministry. I think we should have a ministry that carves pumpkins for those who do not have the time or the dexterity to do so themselves. But these wouldn’t be your normal pumpkin carvings. I think it would only be appropriate if lengthy Bible verses were carved into the pumpkins. Not only do we minister to those receiving the pumpkins, but we also ponder a passage of scripture for hours at a time. Very beneficial!

4. Bubble blowing ministry. The kids look cute and have fun, but this ministry serves absolutely no purpose. It just keeps kids busy, and, unfortunately, I think this might actually be a real “ministry” churches fall back on too often.

5. Grass appreciation ministry. People apparently love grass. They roll around in it, sit and stare at it, run and leap in it, or just take pictures of it. These people love the grass that God made, and they aren’t ashamed to let you know it.

6. Cute kids ministry. This ministry is for cute kids only. Requirements: cheesy smile, huge eyes, freckles, and a funky haircut. No ugly kids allowed!

7. Bag of money ministry. I think a lot of churches could get into this ministry. It’s very simple. Bring a bag of money with you every time you come to church. The only requirements are that the bags have a large dollar sign on them and when you leave, the money must stay.

8. Chocoholics Ministry. Once again, like the bubble ministry, I think this might be a fallback ministry. “Hmm…we aren’t sure what we should do for the ladies. I know! Let’s serve chocolate.” There’s this picture of a lady shoving a 12”x6” chocolate bar in her mouth. We might be promoting gluttony with this one!

9. Run sideways support ministry. This might be one of my favorites. This would be a ministry for all of those people who just can’t seem to run in a forward direction. Unfortunately, I think you have to see the picture to appreciate the efforts of the “ministry.”

10. Pineapple Ministry. Just because it made me laugh out loud.

Accentuate the Positive

Humans talk to each other all day every day, that is unless you are a hermit. I have found that many times what is said goes in one ear and right out the other, but I have also found that some things stick no matter how faulty your memory is. These are the hurtful things, whether we say them or they are said to us. I remember being called a liar just a few years ago by the head football coach at SBU (when indeed he was the one telling an untruth). I remember telling my mom I hated her when I was 12 or 13 (needless to say, I didn't really mean it). I remember riding the school bus in 4th grade and being asked if I shopped at the Gap since the space between my front teeth was so large (thank you, dad, for braces!). I can even remember back to the first day of kindergarten when an older kid made fun of my dress that my mom made for me (thankfully my sister, who was 6, threatened to beat the kid up. ha!). Why do negative moments stand out in our minds? It's because we feel sorry for ourselves and dwell on what was said.

It's time to snap out of it!

I can think of three positive things that were said to me in the few hours I've been at work today. Will I remember them tomorrow? A few months ago, I probably would not, but now I think I will. I've decided it's important to accentuate the positive. Someone gave me a compliment 3 weeks ago, and I didn't even say thank you, but it meant a lot to me and I'll remember it for a long time. I got applauded in a meeting yesterday. Will I remember that? Heck yes! It was totally uncomfortable, but it felt great to be recognized. Sure, negative things happened in the last few weeks, but I don't remember what they were, and I really don't care.

Keep being a grumpy gus if you want, but I choose to accentuate the positive.

Disclaimer: It would help me out tremendously if you only said nice things to me. Thank you for complying.

Ten Things Tuesday: 10 reality shows that make me smile

In honor of tonight's Biggest Loser premier and Big Brother finale, I thought it was appropriate to list the ten reality shows that make me smile. They aren't necessarily my favorite, but they caught my attention.

1. My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiancé. This show actually aired about 5 or 6 years ago, but I still think it's funny. A woman pretended to be engaged to an overweight, obnoxious man, who was actually an actor being paid to be as obnoxious and disgusting as possible. If they fooled her family into believing that they were really engaged, the woman would win $1,000,000. The "relationship" was so believable that the woman's father and brother were in tears urging her not to marry him. I felt bad for them, but in the end, all of the awkwardness and disgust was worth it. She and her family walked away with $1,000,000. And best of all, she had no idea her "fiancé" was an actor until the end. She just thought he was always that disgusting and obnoxious! So funny.

2. Dancing With the Stars. While it's mildly entertaining to watch "celebrities" learn to dance, I think it's even more entertaining to watch judge Bruno Tonioli react to the dances he really likes. He practically lunges at the dancers pointing his finger at the dance floor almost screaming his accolades in a thick Italian accent. Also fun to watch is Kenny Mayne's "Dance Center." It really doesn't stop being funny the fact that a sports anchor is wearing eyeshadow and a sparkly shirt.

3. The Amazing Race. This is just an exciting show. Sometimes funny things happen, like when the contestants had to carry huge wheels of cheese down a hill and they kept rolling everywhere. One contestant kept screaming, "where's the cheese?" But most of the time, it's just intense competition, whether it's catching a flight, flagging down a cab, or looking for coffins in Transylvania. It's just a good game.

4. Here Come the Newlyweds. This show was a little raunchy, but I laughed hysterically when the women were blindfolded and told to identify their husband's butt. Some of them were a little hesitant, while others gave the task a 100% effort.

5. So You Think You Can Dance. I can't dance, so I like to watch others dance. I pick favorites and ultimately get crushed in the end. Maybe it would help if I actually voted for my favorites.

6. Dating in the Dark. It's so pathetic that these people all walk away "finding the one they are meant to be with." They only had a few days to get to know each other, and they think it's true love because they got to know each other in a pitch black room. They are not required to pick their "match" based on personality alone, though. They make their decision only after seeing the other person's appearance. It all comes back to appearances.

7. The Bachelorette. I usually don't watch The Bachelor or The Bachelorette, but for some reason this season I was hooked. I screamed at Jillian when she kept picking Wes, and I cheered for her every time she picked Ed. Needless to say, I was pleased with the outcome.

8. There Goes the Neighborhood. This reality game show has a very real element to it. On most shows, the contestants are strangers who have never met and who will never have to meet again, but on There Goes the Neighborhood, the contestants actually live next door to each other. The families have known each other anywhere from 6 months to 10 years. The game played out like any other reality game show. Feelings were hurt and alliances were made. It got ugly! These people either need to heal or start house hunting.

9. Big Brother. I didn't watch seasons 1-10 of Big Brother, but for some reason this season it caught my attention. I am hooked. The drama, the lies, the scheming, the personalities, the friendships, the grudges ... it kind of wears me out, but I'm loving it! Tonight it all ends, and a winner is announced!

10. Biggest Loser. My absolute favorite! I can't get enough of this show. I love to watch these people change their lives - physically and mentally. I love to see the transformations, but also the hard work that gets them there. And it all starts tonight!

Enough blogging, I'm gonna go home and get ready to watch some reality TV!

Ten Things Tuesday: 10 things I can't do/don't like to do on my iPhone

Technically, this is not Tuesday, but it is the second day of my work week, so I think it'll be okay if I post my Ten Things Tuesday on Wednesday this week. I promise not to make a habit of it. I was going to post this last night at home, but since I do not have internet at home, I tried to do it on my iPhone. Didn't work. So, here are the 10 things I can't do / don't like to do on my iPhone.

1. Blog. Blogspot wouldn't let me. I was so determined to blog yesterday that I was willing to develop arthritis in my thumbs from typing on a tiny keyboard. Maybe I should've gone with Wordpress. They have an app for that. (Hint, hint, Blogger!)
2. View Flash. I just can't. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. It's kind of inconvenient.
3. Follow a recipe. This is something I can do, but it can get quite messy. Since the screen doesn't stay on for very long, I have to use my food hands to view it again. I should probably just write the recipe on paper, but that's just not as cool as using my iPhone.
4. Watch videos. Watching any video longer than 10 minutes makes me paranoid that I am going to be cross-eyed for the rest of my life. It hasn't happened yet, but it could happen.
5. Respond to email. A simple "yes," "no," or "ok" is fine, but anything longer than that leaves too much room for error. Odd word replacement with spell check has been known to happen.
6. Record video. That's because I have the "old" version. How is it that my phone is already outdated and I only bought it in 6 months ago?
7. Have remote control. Yes, I can control iTunes on my computer from my phone, but I want to control people - specifically with a mute button.
8. Listen to music in the car. The automatic shuffle when you shake the phone is kind of obnoxious, especially if the road is bumpy. The puppet mission trip was a nightmare. I only listened to about 15 seconds of five songs before I switched back over to my iPod.
9. Talk/Text. These are kind of fundamental uses for a phone. I can't use my phone for talking or texting when in my office, which is in the depths of the building. It kind of defeats the purpose of carrying my phone to work. I do get my work out though. When I hear it ring, I answer and sprint upstairs saying "just a minute" and "hang on" over and over again.
10. Old school Google. I don't like to type things into Google. It takes far too much time and energy. Instead I use the voice search Google app. Yes, that's right. Information is no longer just accessible with the touch of a button, but also by voice command. Laziness at its best!

Ten Things Tuesday: 10 things you should never forget

I almost forgot to write my Ten Things Tuesday list, so I find it fitting to write a list of things you should never forget. Never forget to:

1. Smile. People might look forward to your smile every day. Plus you always look better when you smile than when you frown.
2. Tell others you appreciate them. You might feel really silly saying it, but it makes the other person feel awesome!
3. Be thankful for your job. Even if you don't enjoy your job at the moment, be thankful you have one. There are a lot of people right now that would do anything to be in your place.
4. Take the blame. If you messed up, own up to it. It makes you look better in everyone's eyes even though you feel worse.
5. Take the credit. If you did an awesome job, take the credit. You deserve it.
6. Give 100%. If you don't, someone else will have to pick up the slack. That won't make them very pleasant to be around.
7. Take risks. There's a 50% chance you will fail, but at least you tried it and know it won't work for next time. But there's also a 50% chance you will succeed. In that case, see #5.
8. Brush your teeth & put on deodorant. This is always a winning combination and a good way to start your day. You won't feel disgusting and I won't ... I mean, no one will think you are disgusting.
9. Laugh out loud. Whether you are in your living room alone or in a crowded movie theater, it's always a good thing to let out a good belly laugh every now and then. It makes you feel good the rest of the day.
10. Sleep. I can't say enough good things about sleep. As someone who couldn't sleep for about 12 years, I appreciate sleep and make use of my ability to do so every night. Plus you get a front row seat to whatever crazy dreams your brain concocts at night.

I'm sure there are a million other things that should be on this list, but these are things that I've been thinking about this week because I've either forgotten to do them or someone else has (see #8).

Ten Things Tuesday: 10 things that made me smile

Yesterday I heard about a woman who at the end of every day lists ten good things that happened during that day. That made me start to wonder what would be on my list. Of course, then I started thinking about other lists (I love lists!). So I have decided to do Ten Things Tuesdays. To begin, here are ten things that have made me smile today:

1. Chick-fil-a. I live 9 minutes from Chick-fil-a, but it's 9 minutes in the direction I never drive, so yesterday I made the drive so I could enjoy the yumminess that is Chick-fil-a. This was yesterday, but I'm still smiling.
2. Cello case weight loss. I received a wonderful hard case and new cello for Christmas in 1997. After carrying the 25 pound load on my right shoulder for 12 years, I am now the proud owner of a soft case with backpack straps. It only weighs about 15 pounds and I can distribute the weight between two shoulders now.
3. Alphabetical Bible. One of my tasks each week is to proofread the scripture for Sunday morning. I was hunting for the book of Job and for a split second I tried finding it by alphabetical order. Just so you know, you will not find Job directly after Jeremiah.
4. Mannequins. I had the privilege of carrying a male mannequin torso through the church today. It's always fun to see the reactions.
5. Haikuesday. I thoroughly enjoy reading @jimmyfaseler and @ianspaterson Twitter Haikus.
6. Fruit Burritos. I love it when someone's comment on my status echoes what I was thinking as I typed it. Plus, I just love Melinda.
7. Sam's vitamins. Sam is an 81-year-old church volunteer with less-than-stellar hearing who takes about 12 pills a day. Someone asked if any of his pills were vitamins. His answer? Wednesday. I'm still laughing about that.
8. Freelance. I just finished up some freelance work and got my check today just in time to pay bills and buy groceries. That's definitely worth a smile.
9. Printing day. I worked for hours gathering, writing, and editing copy for our first monthly newsletter. Then I spent more time editing and re-editing. And, finally, it's printing day. That means it's out of my hands. That's a good feeling.
10. Sweeney Todd. As you walk through my church, you'll hear instrumental worship or one of about a thousand versions of Shout to the Lord, but when you step into the printshop, you are immediately greeted with the sounds of Sweeney Todd and a roaring printing press. That might explain a few things :)

Life on shuffle

I have about 4,000 songs on my iPod, so I am a huge playlist person. I have different playlists for different moods, different seasons, different times of the day, and even one for when I blow dry my hair. But sometimes I can't really pinpoint what kind of music I want to listen to, so I opt to listen to all of my songs on shuffle, which can be an experience that ranges from great to irritating. I'll get treated to some Coldplay, then a little Phil Joel, and maybe some Ginny Owens or Jimmy Needham. You can get a real groove going, and then the theme song to Reading Rainbow or Mr. Ed comes on or some lame rap or teen pop song that you unfortunately paid money for in the eigth grade. This always reminds me why I create playlists.

Life is like listening to your iPod on shuffle. You can't create playlists. You can't always weed out the jolt of unpleasantness. Sometimes when those groove-killing songs start playing, I run over to my iPod dock and skip to the next song. I've come to realize, especially over the last two weeks, that I can't hit the skip button in life. I just have to keep reminding myself that I'm on shuffle and something good has got to be coming up.

Tupperware Temple

We all look at the story in the Bible when Jesus cleansed the temple and think that we'd never make our church into a marketplace. Well, too late! I'm not talking so much about bookstores and coffee shops in churches because those generally don't make a profit (at least not at my church). I am, however, talking about the members who wake up on Sunday morning and forget their Bible but remember to bring their Pampered Chef catalogs and Premier Jewelry flyers. In the last three months, I have been invited to five Premier Jewelry parties and encouraged to purchase Pampered Chef on at least four occasions. All of this badgering took place while at church. When did retail become a focus at church? I do not go to church to buy heavy-duty spatulas, overpriced jewelry, or matronly handbags, and, frankly, I'm tired of having to dispose of flyers, invitations, and catalogs received while at church. To show my disapproval of this ridiculous new trend, I will take the most recently received flyer, wad it up, and dispose of it. What will this stand do? Absolutely nothing.

Know-it-alls

When did the all purpose response of "mhmm" or "uh huh" morph into "I know"? I feel like everyone around me responds with "I know." At first I just ignored it, but after three months of constant I knows, I have started challenging people on whether or not they really do know.

I am entertained by the people that can justify their use of the phrase. They make elaborate attempts at making their knowledge base weave together to indeed prove that they did know (even if they didn't really know). Kudos to them.

My real frustration lies with those whom I consistently debunk their knowing yet they continue professing that they know. These people are looking more and more ridiculous in my eyes.

Favorite "I know" conversation:

Knowitall: You don't want to buy that house you were talking about. It's a mess.
Me: You don't even know which house it was.
Knowitall: I know, but you don't want it.
Me: How do you know? You don't even now the address.
Knowitall: I just know you don't want it.
Me: No, you don't know.
Knowitall: Yeah, it's the one on 67th street with a sign.
Me: Nope.
Knowitall: Well, I just know.
Me: How in the world would you know? Unless you are psychic, you have no knowledge base for this! Oh my gosh, just admit that you don't know. (Yeah, I didn't really say this, but I really wanted to.)

Let's agree, world: You stop saying "I know" unless you are sure you know, and I will stop getting riled up over two little words.

Snapshots

I love looking at pictures, but they rarely tell the whole story of the people in them. I've noticed over the summer that you really only get snapshots of the people you encounter. Many times we make assessments of a person based on one snapshot or one encounter. Now assessments are being made based on one tweet, status update, or blog entry. How ridiculous to assume you know the true character of any human based on the less than 140 characters they provide on Twitter. It just reminds me that, like in pictures, you better smile because you never know who's looking. Let's all say cheese!

I'm an expert because I say I am

I received a request today to enlist the expertise of Individual A as I proceed with using Twitter, Facebook, etc. for marketing. Respecting the request, I began to investigate Individual A's online presence. The "expert" has been on Twitter for a month and a half and tweeted about 80 times and has no Facebook account that I can find. Using the logic behind calling Individual A an expert, I can claim that I am an uber expert. I have been on Twitter for a lengthy 2 1/2 months boasting 175 tweets and have been on Facebook for at least 4 years with a whopping 386 friends. I will now begin investigating my own consulting firm.