Usually when I stop blogging it's because I'm extra stressed at work and can't free my mind. But the past couple of weeks of no blogging is a result of being so overwhelmed by God that I haven't been able to find the words to write. I've sat down to blog several times over the past few weeks, but I could never find words big enough or good enough to explain what God was/is doing in my life. Whatever words I use would certainly be puny in comparison to who God is. So here's what's going on...
On February 6, I went to a church orchestra workshop led by Camp Kirkland, big time church music arranger. Camp shared about a music mission trip to Brazil as well as some other mission opportunities through Global Missions Project for instrumentalists. I was interested in the idea, so I went to the Global Missions Project website and starting looking at all of the different projects they had scheduled for the next year. At the top of the list was the Brazil trip that Camp mentioned, but I thought to myself, "That is way too soon and so not possible!" I perused the website that Saturday, Sunday, and again on Monday searching for the mission project that would be most appealing to me and the one that seemed the most financially feasible.
Over those three days, it was like God was pointing a huge arrow toward the Brazil trip. Sure that He was mistaken, I discussed these factors in full with God:
• I could not raise $2,995 by June.
• Never in my life have I wanted to go to Brazil or anywhere in South America.
• What?! I have to also pay for 2 meals a day and oversized luggage fees for my cello? Another $800?!?!
• I don't have a current passport and can't afford one.
• There's just not enough time!
Even after "discussing" these things, I knew that God wanted me on that trip. So, that Tuesday morning, I registered and shortly after paid my deposit and started the ball rolling.
Now that it's two weeks later, I wonder: Have you ever felt like God was laughing at you? Every time someone hands me a check, I feel like I can hear God chuckling while saying, "Duh! You can't raise that much money, but I can!" And while I'm impatiently waiting for the status of my passport to change from "processing" to whatever is next, I really think God is enjoying watching me squirm.
Basically, I think He's enjoying watching me learn that my timeline and my desires don't matter. He can make things happen in 4 months no problem! He can give me a heart that wants to go to Brazil. He can even make me love the people there before I get there! He can provide for a huge financial need. He can do all of these things because He never fails, and I love that about Him!
More updates on my mission project to come...
February 24, 2010
February 1, 2010
1/12 of the way there
I have officially completed the first full month sticking to my 2010 goals. Here are my thoughts so far ...
I've been super consistent in working out. I work out an hour a day five days a week. I've also been pretty good at counting my calories and eating my fruits and veggies, but I am incredibly frustrated that I'm not losing any weight. I know that I am lenient on my calories on the weekends, but seriously! I come out of that gym dripping sweat every day and nothing?! Not any weight?! So that's a little frustrating. Weight lost: 2.8 pounds (27.2 to go)
Another frustration is that I forgot to scan my card before one of my workouts, so the gym only has 19 recorded workouts for me instead of 20. I hate it when I'm to blame! It's the worst. Workouts at gym: 19 (technically. 81 to go)
I thought working out at the gym would be the hardest goal to accomplish, but I've found finding time to read incredibly difficult. Really finding extra time at all in my schedule is a little hard to do. By the time I get home from work I don't want to use my brain any more so I had to force myself to read. It paid off because I thoroughly enjoyed both books I read last month (The Blogging Church and Emma by Jane Austen), but I'm afraid I'll have to force myself to begin every book and even force myself through the first few chapters until I'm in to deep to stop reading. Books read: 2 out of 24
As far as my financial goals ... well, I hate money. It stresses me out something fierce. If everything goes as planned I'll be debt free by the end of March, so that's awesome. I can't really be frustrated about that, now can I?
All in all, January was a productive month and I didn't give up on any of my goals. The process to reach and the outcome of some goals may not have been great, but I'm just gonna hang in there and see what happens.
I've been super consistent in working out. I work out an hour a day five days a week. I've also been pretty good at counting my calories and eating my fruits and veggies, but I am incredibly frustrated that I'm not losing any weight. I know that I am lenient on my calories on the weekends, but seriously! I come out of that gym dripping sweat every day and nothing?! Not any weight?! So that's a little frustrating. Weight lost: 2.8 pounds (27.2 to go)
Another frustration is that I forgot to scan my card before one of my workouts, so the gym only has 19 recorded workouts for me instead of 20. I hate it when I'm to blame! It's the worst. Workouts at gym: 19 (technically. 81 to go)
I thought working out at the gym would be the hardest goal to accomplish, but I've found finding time to read incredibly difficult. Really finding extra time at all in my schedule is a little hard to do. By the time I get home from work I don't want to use my brain any more so I had to force myself to read. It paid off because I thoroughly enjoyed both books I read last month (The Blogging Church and Emma by Jane Austen), but I'm afraid I'll have to force myself to begin every book and even force myself through the first few chapters until I'm in to deep to stop reading. Books read: 2 out of 24
As far as my financial goals ... well, I hate money. It stresses me out something fierce. If everything goes as planned I'll be debt free by the end of March, so that's awesome. I can't really be frustrated about that, now can I?
All in all, January was a productive month and I didn't give up on any of my goals. The process to reach and the outcome of some goals may not have been great, but I'm just gonna hang in there and see what happens.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
